Sunday, October 3, 2010

Oh, deer! Authors Pauline Jones and Denise Robbins have two new fans

But in this case, that's not necessarily a good thing...

How ominous is that?!

This is the message that greeted me Friday morning from my publisher when I checked my email before leaving for work.

Apparently Linda had ordered a bunch of books and all had arrived in two big boxes Monday night. All except for two books. They were put into a small separate box, which did not arrive until the next day, after Linda publisher had to leave for Houston Tuesday night.

Linda said, “I didn't worry, since no rain was expected. I figured the box would be sitting near the mailboxes, waiting for me to pick it up on my way in tonight (late Thursday.)”

However, her "ever so helpful" neighbor decided to bring the box up to her inside big gate, and since it was small, they must have slipped it underneath. Or put it very very close, at least partway under the gate.

Because. . .

According to Linda, “When I came through the gate tonight after midnight, I discovered that my two Fallow bucks had opened the UPS box, and were happily devouring one copy of Out of Time and a copy of Never Tempt Danger.”

GASP! See photo.

Linda ended her note by saying, “Well, these two have already "tempted danger" with me way too many times. I won't elaborate now, it's late (after 2:30 AM) and I'm tired...

So, these four legged boys are officially "out of time" and if they try this again, they are going to get some BB's in their big hairy butts!”

As for the neighbors, she says, “I'm not sure what I'm going to do to the neighbors. I'm pretty sure it was the little boy (who rides down on his ATV to pick up the mail) - I think his Dad is a paramedic. Perhaps I'll ask him if he can resuscitate the books.”

LOL! That would be a miracle.

“On that note, I'll sign off and try to get some rest.

Pauline chimed in later on Friday with, “LOL! Instead of the dog ate my homework, the deer ate the books. LOL! My sister says the deer in her yard try to eat everything! They start with her flowers, but finish anything and everything! Time to bring on the hunters. [GRIN] Oh the trials of a publisher. I think you’ve got a blog in there somewhere. Hugs!”

Pauline was correct. These two new fans would make a great blog post. BUT. . . being the mystery, suspense, steampunk and whatever else writers Pauline and I are we need to know more about these so-called ‘fans’ or as I have given them the nickname of ‘book bandits’.

Ergo we investigate and get a little more information on our culprits. What we learn from Linda is this:

This is a mugshot of one of the ‘book bandits’. He’s a white Fallow buck Linda named ‘Mergatroid’.”

Okay, wait! She names the deer Mergatroid? Didn’t the Hanna-Barbera cartoon ‘Snagglepuss’ use “Heavens to Mergatroid (Murgatroyd)!” as one of his catchphrases? The meaning one of surprise and shock. . .and trouble.

Hm. Me thinks the deer is aptly named. As a matter of fact, she calls his son, his partner in crime (a dark brown Fallow) “Junior”.

Linda’s eyewitness testimony states, “The two of them are always "up to something" - including eating the car seat covers on my Jeep in the carport. I swear this deer breed (a variety of European Moose, imported into the USA) is part goat!”

Yup! Having seen goats try to nibble at my mother’s shoes while her feet were still in them, I get a clear visual as to they will eat anything.

Linda continues, “The does are sweeties, though, and even though they act silly, they aren't as destructive as the bucks. Must be a "guy thing" that crosses all species. Search and and destroy...”

Now if you know Linda you would be laughing at that statement. Not because it’s not true. But because this is a woman who goes out at the wee hours of the morning with her shotgun in hand and ‘searches and destroys’ the raccoons that wreak havoc on her lodge in the woods.

Anyway, long story to get to the point of saying, “If even the deer want to devour our books, you should too!”

In case you missed the titles that Mergatroid and Junior preferred they were “Out of Time” by Pauline Baird Jones and “Never Tempt Danger” by Denise Robbins. Both are available at L&L Dreamspell.

Just be sure to send a note to Linda and tell her you prefer a copy without the deer teeth marks, hoof prints, or any other deer markings.


Pauline B Jones October 3, 2010 at 9:23 AM  

Lol! I do think it is time to bring on the hunters!!

Mark Rosendorf October 3, 2010 at 9:39 AM  

it's never good practice to discriminate, shoot a bee bee in the little boy's butt, too.

Teresa Judd October 4, 2010 at 10:54 AM  

Wow! Linda's deer are way prettier than ours. We have small brown ones. Apparently there are two kinds of deer - the ones that set up camp and the ones that stroll through. Luckily we have the "stroll through" kind. I've started using "Not Tonight Deer" or some other repellent to save my flowers and plants. I let them eat dried blackberries and weeds. It seems to be working.
Teresa Leigh Judd

Cindy Sample October 4, 2010 at 11:08 AM  

In my efforts to keep the deer away from my delectable flowering agapanthas I attempted to spray deer repellant all over the plants. The canister exploded and I was covered in coyote urine and rotten eggs.

Deer-1, Cindy-0.

Thanks for the morning chuckle

ARLISS ADAMS October 4, 2010 at 1:01 PM  

That was hilarious. Sort of akin to "Oh, yes, those two dears (play on words) absolutely devour literature. They can't seem to get enough of it. But they are I see it, they only attack books published by L&L Dreamspell. It's a good recomendation. They are absolute snobs about quality."

Still Laughing!


A definite city girl

Denise October 4, 2010 at 8:07 PM  

You all are too funny.

Cindy - I can relate to the nasty smell of that deer prevention stuff.

Bean October 5, 2010 at 2:12 PM  

I loved the blog and loved reading all your comments! You all are hilarious! Yes, my sister gave me that stuff to use and I have to say it keeps the kids away too.

Very excited about the new book and can't wait to read it!!


Denise October 6, 2010 at 2:41 PM  

Hey Bean!

Thanks for stopping by and getting a good chuckle.

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