How to live by life’s little ditties

Here are a few ditties I live my life by. They are in no particular order, except number one.

#1. Life is too short, so live it!

See how simple that is? Let me put it another way. If you’re worrying about “what-ifs” then you’re not living, you’re worrying.

#2. Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

See if this explains it better. If you’re going to have sex, ladies, don’t you want hot, sweaty, heart-pounding, orgasmic sex? You know, the kind when you finish you can’t breathe, but are so exhilarated you rollover on top of the guy so you can begin again. Or would you rather have the kind where you don’t reach that ultimate high, but when the other person gets theirs you say “Gee, that was nice.” Nice is not done well. Nice is nice. Hey, if he isn’t getting it right, show him. If you want to write a book, don’t just write a book, write the best dang book you can! Live the best life you can!

#3. Life should be an adventure.

This one seems to trip up a great many people. This means go outside your comfort zone. Think outside the box. Push the envelope. Whatever you do, try something. Do something! Experience something new. I live by this creedo! Once a year I come up with something new to try and do it. It could be taking singing lessons, scuba diving, running a marathon, or as simple as trying a new type of food. This year I will experience a 50-mile trail race!

#4. Bucket lists belong in a pail.

Bucket lists are just that, lists on a piece of paper. You don’t need a list to know what you want. Just wake up one day and say, “Today I’m going to bungee jump.” Then go do it. You have to make it happen and writing it down on a little piece of paper and squirreling it away is not going to make it happen. You have to take the bull by the horns or in this case the bungee by the cord and go for it! So if running a marathon is on this proverbial bucket list…take it off and just do it. Who cares if you walk the entire race. You can say you did it as opposed to, “It’s on my bucket list.” Basically, if you take it off the bucket list then you are adhering to Life ditty #3.

#5. Body and mind need restoration.

I never used to believe in this, but have learned the hard way. You see, it used to be that every time my husband and I took a vacation one or both of us would come back to not having a job. So we stopped taking vacations. We thought we were jinxed. However, without following this motto you never give yourself the time to recuperate from the forty-hour work week or if you are a homemaker, even longer hours. You need the time to get away to relax and rejuvenate. Now, it does not mean you need to fly off to Never Never Land or my favorite place (Ireland), but you have to do something so you are not amidst your everyday as this will only suck you back in. A couple of suggestions: Go camping with no cell phone and oh, yeah, no laundry or bills to pay. I once spent a week in the middle of nowhere, Georgia with no phone, no TV, and it was snowing. Best time of my life! Spend a day and go to every movie in the movie theatre. What a great escape! For a short, daily escape, take up running, walking, knitting, and oh, yes...reading. Give yourself time away from the daily grind.

#6. Life does not revolve around work.

This is probably one of the hardest ones for all of us to get past. We, as a society, work too many hours and in my opinion for too little. Yes, it pays the bills (sometimes). But honestly, is that what you were put on this earth for, to pay bills and make money for someone else? That is a resounding NO! Most, if not all of us, at one time or another, have been workaholics. To my great chagrin, I will admit to being one of them. I was actually one in my early twenties. Which, is perhaps, why I learned at a very young age that life was too precious and oh, yeah, meant to be lived (see Life ditty #1) so early on. Life should revolve around family and friends. They are your backbone, your source of inspiration, your rocks. Life is too precious to put a job above all else. And should you be so short-sighted to do so you will miss so much. Do you want to miss celebrating your tenth anniversary because of a board meeting? Or miss your daughter’s soccer playoff because you had to fix a bug or a delivery problem that could have waited another twelve hours? Of course you don’t. And neither does that family member or friend. Don’t let work get in the way of life passing you by. And if you have children, don’t show them the path of least resistance and that an unhappy life is normal. Show them that what life has to offer is what surrounds them, not the paycheck that pays the bills (sometimes). Play hookie!

#7. Live YOUR life and not someone else’s.

Every day, in every walk of life, you will see something or someone you admire and think, “I want what he or she has.” Really? How do you know they are happy? How do you know that they don’t go home alone or depressed or dread the next day? Life isn’t always greener on the other side. At least that’s what my mama always said. You don’t want someone else’s life you want yours. But to do that, you have to know what you want and go after it. Take it! Sitting on the sidelines and wishing you were someone else, had what someone else has, is not living your life. It’s not, in my opinion, even living. It’s wishing. And while I love wishing on a star, I also chase that star to the ends of the earth.

#8. Never regret ANYTHING.

Some people, maybe a great many will be shocked and horrified by this ditty. People believe mistakes are a sin or should be prevented in any way. Me, I have a different belief. Rather than regret any action, learn from it. Seriously! Once, my ex-husband and I moved to New Jersey. It didn’t last long. It was not a great experience. Thom’s mother said something about regretting it, and I said, “Why should I regret it? I learned I don’t like to live in New Jersey, and I learned what I do like.” See, silver lining. If you live your life by learning and not regretting, you grow and experience more. Regret is like a ball and chain. The more you regret, the more regret weighs you down in fear. You begin fearing making mistakes. Fear of mistakes will prevent you from living life. (see ditty #1) Do not fear mistakes. Embrace them! Grow! Live!

What little ditties, mottos, or creedos do you live by?

The things women talk about…

The things women talk about…

Haven’t you men always wanted to know what women talk about when they get together? Well, I am about to enlighten you. . .somewhat, partially, a little.

Be warned! This could be dangerous information I am about to expose. If you have sensitive ears or feelings you may not want to read further.

Yesterday, a couple of lady friends and I were chatting. Yes, we chat. We were talking and somehow we got on the subject of “Life Tools for Women.” Don’t ask how we got there but we did. Of course, that got me thinking (very bad) and inspired to write this blog post.

I know, you’re asking yourself, “What the heck are the Life Tools for Women?”

For those of you in the know, you are already laughing. For those of you not in the know, you are about to get a lesson.

Life Tools for Women consists of four things every woman needs for a happy night or a happy life. Yeah, it’s true. We only need four things. Isn’t that amazing? And men think we're high-maintenance. Ha!

Now you want to know what those four things are? Hm, well, be prepared.


#1. Number one is a bottle of wine. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a bottle of white, red, or zinfandel. It could be a wickedly expensive bottle of champagne (my fave!) or a cheap bottle of Muscatel. Wine is wine.

Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.
~ Benjamin Franklin

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to a lack of wine. ~ Anonymous

Good wine is a necessity of life for me. ~ Thomas Jefferson


#2. The second item on the women’s list of Life Tools is good chocolate. Notice that unlike the wine, the chocolate must be good. This is where our taste buds, match our taste in men. Not any chocolate or man will do.

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. ~ Jo Brand

Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays. ~ Anonymous

Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good. ~ Lora Brody

It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. ~ Miranda Ingram


#3. The third tool is a romance novel. Yup, you read that correctly. A romance novel. With a bottle of wine and good chocolate the mood is all set for a relaxing evening. Let the fantasy begin! Not just any fantasy. Again, this is boy meets girl, they have hot, steamy sex, boy and girl have conflict, but even in conflict they have sex. When all is said and done, conflict is resolved, they have sex and they live happily ever after.

Okay, that’s my fantasy.

According to one survey, the number one reason women read romance novels is the hero. We get to fall a little bit in love with the hero every time we open a book to read.

In that same survey, the number four reason we read romance novels is the Happily Ever After. We love a great ending and knowing that no matter how many troubles and problems to mount up eventually they are solved and go away. Ahhh.

Maybe if men read more romance novels they would understand women better. BONUS!


#4. Here is where we reach the risqué portion of our tools. Please, if by now you have not figured out where I am going with this then close your eyes, imagine yourself being a woman. Now, you’re sitting in front of a fireplace with your wine, box of chocolates, a steamy, sexy, romance novel, and a. . .TOOL.

Here you have the four Life Tools for Women. Go and enjoy!

Simple pleasures in life

It's the simple things in life that bring pleasure to us.

For me, this past weekend it was a couple of small things that made me smile. As a matter of fact, Saturday was filled with little pleasures.

Saturday started out by having breakfast with a couple of friends. Always nice to share a meal and a chat with friends.

When I left Big Easy Bagel I went to my favorite post office to see Jane and give her some books to ship off to the folks who donated to my "give a book, get a book" giveaway for the troops. Looking forward to shipping more books this Memorial Day weekend.

After the post office, I did a quick run into Staples to pick up some photo printer paper so I can print pictures from my trip to Ireland. Cannot wait to get some framed!

As I walked out to my car I noticed an older couple doing a walk around my SUV and talking. When I approached to put my bag in the car I asked if they wanted to see inside the vehicle. That little question sparked a very nice 15 minute conversation about SUVs, BMW, and I learned about the BMW Car Club of America. I left the parking lot with a smile on my face.

Then I went to an event that occurs only once a year. I went to St. Philips Greek Food Festival. Oh, yeah! I look forward to this event one weekend a year.

Why? Because it's the only time I can get a good Gyro with the best tsaziki sauce. This year was especially sweet. A woman was standing in line be hind me who and she had never had a gyro or even heard of it before.

Okay, yes, my chin dropped to my chest because I was flabbergasted by her statement. I proceeded to tell her what it was and how much she would love it. I even offered to buy her something different if she didn't like it. I mean, we were at a Greek food fest so there was plenty of options to choose from.

Later in the event, the woman found me stuffing my face with dessert and told me how she really enjoyed the gyro and thanked me for recommending it to her. She loved it so much she got another one to take home with her for dinner. I told her not to forget dessert.

What was for dessert? Loukoumades!! Loukoumades are little honey puff pastries topped with cinnamon, sugar, and walnuts. OH-MY-GOSH! They are fantastic!

I left the festival fat and very happy.

On my way home, I saw a sign for a flower sale. Well, if you know anything about me you know I love flowers. I whipped down the street (shh! don't tell the local police), saw the tables lined with flowers and immediately parked. And yes, I bought some flowers. I bought some Irises.

Who wouldn't be smiling after purchasing a couple of gorgeous flowers from a local garden club?

Oh, I could go on and on about how my neighbor who moved in last year across the street came over to see the new vehicle as soon as I pulled into the drive. It's a guy thing! Or how the magician who is here performing the spring shows at Canobie Lake Park dropped by to share a couple of beers and catch up since he left last summer. He loved my garden and deck. He saw it before I stained and finished it so now he's seen it and says my paradise is looking like a small oasis. So true!

What's the moral of me sharing all of this with you?

It's the little things in life that bring us pleasure. Remember to stop and smell the flowers, enjoy the small moments, and smile when they happen. You'd be surprised how good you feel when you do.

Go out and smile today!

The little things make us smile

I don't know about you but it's the little things in life that make me smile. You know, the things that you don't think about until it happens and then a grin spreads across your lips and your heart trips a little lighter.

Perhaps you come home from a long day at work and find your trash cans pulled up next to your garage so you don't have to trek back down to get them.

One of my favorites is when my neighbor hollers down the road and yells, "Chocolate pie!" Yes, Donna makes the best sugar free chocolate pie ever. I will literally and did this past Saturday drop everything and jog up the street to get some pie.

It's someone holding a door open even when your hands aren't full. It's a complete stranger offering to share his umbrella so you don't get soaked walking into the office.

Maybe you receive a quick phone call from a friend just to say "Hi."

As a writer, one of the things that makes me smile is when someone I gave a book to tells me her mother stole my book from her and is halfway through it and loving it.


What little things put a smile on your face?

When a writer goes radio silent. . .

Is it because her computer died, her network went haywire, she has nothing to write about, or because she is a magnet for mishap?

My father claims that if I didn’t have bad luck, I would have no luck. I am inclined to agree. About a month ago, disaster struck at about midnight on a Monday night/Tuesday morning.

The smoke detectors woke me up and sent me flying through my house like a mad woman. I ran up and down stairs while the shrill sound of those alarms rang in my ears, telling me there was a fire somewhere. I just didn’t know where.

While the cats bolted for the highlands, I searched every nook and cranny of my home for fire. It wasn’t until I looked in the basement twice that I noticed smoke coming in from between the garage door and the door frame. When I finally managed to get the door unlocked, I swung it open and was greeted by a wall of black smoke.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I was not supposed to open the door. But when you are in a panic you kinda don’t think like a sane, rational person, you kinda go with whatever will prevent you from losing your home. You see, the garage is directly under the main part of the house.

My first response was to gasp and suck in the toxic dust…which would later prove not a good thing. I tried the light switch and nothing happened. I thought the power had gone out. Nope, that’s how thick the smoke was. I reached around and hit the garage door buttons. One of the doors went up and that’s when I heard but still could not see the fire.

I turned and ran back upstairs to the third floor for my cell phone and on the way back down dialed. As my bare feet hit my back deck, I was screaming into the phone, “Fire! House is on fire!”

“What?” the groggy voice asked on the other end of the line.

“Fire! My house is on fire!”

Then I heard CLICK and the line was dead.

No, I did not dial 911. I called my neighbors, my heroes. AGAIN. They called 911.

It wasn’t until I rounded the corner of my yard that I saw the 8-foot flames then heard my neighbor Kenny hollering for me as I ran into the garage, opened the other door and tried to pull out anything flammable and explosive. Gasoline cans, push mower that was already burning, riding lawnmower, snow blower, etc.

Kenny was helping me pull stuff when I looked up and said, “Hose!”

I ran and got the hose, which of course, was attached to a plant chemical. Sheesh! I managed to get that off and handed Kenny the hose.

I won’t give you all the details, but suffice it to say in spite of 8 foot flames and smoke as dark and thick as mud, Kenny, Donna, and I got the fire put out before the fire trucks, EMT vehicle, fire chief, and police cars arrived with sirens blaring and lights flashing.

My lecture for the evening came from a firefighter who asked, “Who called 911?”

I pointed a finger at Donna. “She did.”

“Who did you call?”

“Her.”

“Next time, little lady, you dial 911 first.”

“Um, she is on speed-dial and you never even crossed my mind.”

The firefighter gave a little chuckle then sobered and narrowed his gaze on me. “Next time dial 911 first.”

“Yes, sir.” I wanted to salute him, but I held back.


Physically I am fine. My neighbors and I all burned our hands, but those healed quickly. Ice is an amazing medicinal treatment. That and a cold beer bottle. The smoke inhalation affected my lungs for a period and made my voice sound a little like Kathleen Turner, but alas, that sexy, raspy voice has gone away.


For those of you wondering, “Where the heck did Denise go?” Now you know.

Thank you for the phone calls, the emails, and the notes. I appreciate everyone’s caring and concern. Please know that I have not fallen off the face of the earth, that every day I want to write, but this little calamity has kept me busy.

Instead of life imitating art, art will imitate life. Think of the fodder for my fiction.

Wasted Time

Wasted Time


Time is wasted in a 90-minute commute
When technology gives us the ability to work from home

Time is wasted working overtime
When we could spend those hours with family, friends, self

Time is wasted regretting decisions made
When life is happening now

Time is wasted watching television
When there’s a world waiting for exploration

Time is wasted talking about writing a book
When you can put pen to paper and write your story

Time is wasted not sharing your self
When others are waiting to share themselves with you

Time is wasted not expressing feelings
When a word, a look, a touch can lead to endless possibilities

Time is wasted on unhappiness
Decide what you want and go after it

What are you waiting for? Time is wasting.

Inspiration

Where do we get our inspiration?

I was reminded the other day by a friend of mine (who I have known since high school) that I used to leave him notes on his car and now I'm writing fiction novels, in particular, romantic suspense. He thinks it is hysterical and awesome. :-)

That same high school friend is also my inspiration behind the spy side of my stories. I love the intrigue and suspense.

I also incorporate the technology side of my life into the stories as well. Think about all the cool gadgets that intelligence people use nowadays.

Then, I leverage the places I've been and the adventures I've tried, like scuba diving with my ex. My first book's adventures take place around Florida and Hawaii where we did some amazing diving!

So. . .if you're stuck on a story idea take a look around you and at yourself. What have you done, seen, experienced? What have your family and friends done? Know anyone in the military? Get a copy of their resume and then do some research on what all those acronyms mean. :-)

Then figure out how you can take that New Hampshire amusement park worker and turn her into an undercover agent tracking . . .what? HA! You tell me.

Writing and Family Visits

Sorry for taking so long to write. Last week had to drive to NJ to visit some family. And of course that means that writing is next to an impossibility and getting on the web is a real treat.

What do you do when you take a vacation or visit with family? How do you keep up with your writing schedule??

Life imitates art?

"Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life." ~ Oscar Wilde

Do you really think this is true? Or is it the other way around?

How has your life imitated a book you've read?

In IT HAPPENS IN THREES, my soon to be released book (January 2009) the book imitates life. Well, not in the specific events that take place, but in the fact that three unplanned, unexpected, and maybe unwanted events happen before life turns for the better.