Saturday, April 11, 2009

Love Scene Discussion Day 6 - Part 2

Day 6 - Part 2: Use ALL five of the senses. Touch - Taste - Smell - See - Hear

“Don’t you use all the senses when you’re making love?”

Use all the character’s senses. Show sound, sight, smell, and touch, as well as the hero and heroine’s physical reactions to make their coming together emotionally dimensional. Using all the senses will pull the reader into what the characters are feeling. Remember, the reader wants to experience it too.

Don’t forget the scenery. Are your characters sharing their first kiss in the moonlight at the ocean or the childhood bedroom of the heroine where the bed is dressed in a pink canopy and covered with stuffed animals? What do they hear, see, and smell in the background?

"Why go through all this trouble?"

1. Because you want to show the reader what is happening, allow them to get a visual through your words. We want to see, be drawn into what the characters are feeling, how her skin feels, if his chest hair tickles his nose.

2. Lovemaking is sensual, not just physical. Are the Boston Red Sox playing in the background or do they have Barry White playing in the background? At the sound of the bat cracking against a baseball does the hero drive in for his own "homer?"

Exercise: Show a love scene from BOTH sides using all senses from the hero POV and all senses from the heroine's POV.

This should be loads of fun. Be creative in the place if you want. Sometimes a different place, other than a bed, can make it easier when it comes to incorporating more senses.


Ceri Hebert April 11, 2009 at 11:50 AM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ceri Hebert April 11, 2009 at 11:54 AM  

Sorry.... messed up, need to repost.

I'm going to do two scenes, one from the hero's POV and one from the heroine's.

Here is the heroine's:

Selene’s eyes fluttered open and inhaled jaggedly. Briny ocean air filled her lungs and she tasted the salt on her tongue. In her ear she felt Eli’s breath, fast, hard, hot, coming and going like the sound of the waves licking against the side of the stranded boat.

She longed to turn and face him, but there was something about the way their bodies joined, the way she they were surrounded by the blackness of the ocean and the dying flame of sunset that added to the moment. His arms were roped around her, holding her against his broad chest, while his fingers whisked and circled her tight nipples. Clean, cool air flicked at them too and it felt as if she had two lovers playing with her.

What would it be like to dive into that dark water with Eli still deep within her? Her hips rose and fell, sliding up on his steely erection, then settling down so he was deep within her. One of his hands ventured down her belly and caressed her slick bud, setting her body on fire. She moaned into the night air, sucking in more of the chill and holding it in her lungs. Only two things mattered to her, only two things existed. Eli, the man who was so unexpected, so different than the boy she remembered; the one she’d fought against wanting since the moment he reentered her life, and this moment. This dark, island where they were stranded, with the stars surrounding them. She could let Eli make love to her, give her body, mind and soul to him, right here, in this moment and know that it was theirs alone. Forever.

“I love you, Red,” he whispered against her ear, his voice broken with desire. With each word he increased the tempo of his hips, plunging deeper, harder, his fingers sliding with each push and pull. “I’m never going to give up.”

And with those words, Selene arched against him, and shuddered with unabashed abandon. At that moment, she realized that she loved him too and she told him that, yelled it into star-encrusted night for only the two of them to hear.

Ceri Hebert April 11, 2009 at 12:15 PM  

Hero's POV

Selene’s words were as potent as the way her body reacted to his. He felt her climax, the shuddering against his erection, but her declaration of love was what moved him on. He needed to see her, her face in the tepid light of sunset, in the deepening amethyst of twilight and with the millions of stars that were lighting the sky in the east, like a blanket being spread across the sky.

Slowly he pulled out of her body and took comfort in the velvet sigh from her throat. He climbed over the side of the boat and lifted her with ease into is arms. The water was frigid, but he could’ve sworn that it steamed when it mixed with the heat from his body as he carried her onto the shore. Their blanket was still spread out on the tiny strip of sand that the island had and Eli lowered her body onto it.

Immediately, Selene wrapped her legs around his waist. “More,” she whispered, and Eli complied, gliding upward, deep inside her eager body.

As they rocked together, his kissed and stroked her flesh with his tongue and lips. The ocean air had left a salty taste, which he savored, cherished, in case he never tasted it again.

“Say it again,” he said before his lips moved over the tight peak of one breast. He pulled out of her, as the ocean pulled away from the shore. When the next wave surged forward, so did he, thrusting deep within her. Unconsciously his rhythm matched the ebb and flow of the Atlantic against their tiny, secluded paradise.

“Say it, Selene.”

“I love you, Eli. Damn you to hell. I don’t want to.”

Her hips arched to meet his. Even in her denial she couldn’t fight him, couldn’t fight the way they came together, pulsating, vibrant, needing. As powerful as the ocean around them.

Denise April 12, 2009 at 7:59 AM  


You really know how to "show" the reader what is going on and make them feel it.

Thanks for sharing these!


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